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Can you talk the talk? Part 3

Strategy So far I've discussed speaking and listening. Now we're going to look at the third and final component: conversing.

It goes without saying that everything discussed in the first two parts applies here: create a connection, be knowledgeable, be patient, and react. Since these general areas need no further explanation, I'm going to shift gears and dive into some of the more specific, picky bits. Stuff that will make the conversation flow more smoothly.

Now look here!
Eye contact is even more vital in conversation than in presentation. Here you will have a much smaller audience in a more intimate setting, so it's important to know where to look at all times. When speaking with someone, general eye contact is good; holding their eyes in yours is a good way to create a connection, but too much is creepy. Don't bug your eyes out or scrutinize. And back up the frame of reference; instead of looking deep into their eyes, just look at their face in general. This still signals "I'm paying attention to you", but avoids that awkward feeling of "I can see my reflection in your retinas". Just don't look past them, away from them, or at certain other features that can draw your eyes. As with group presentations, if you're having a conversation with more than one person, always look at whoever is speaking. And when you're talking, look around at the faces of the people to whom you're speaking (though if it's of more interest to one particular person, focus more on them).

This isn't an interview
Stay away from boring questions and boring answers. You don't have to interrogate people about where they're from or what they do. And conversely, you don't have to work these details into every question. An amusing anecdote from your life experience is good from time to time, but they have their place. Keep it relevant to the topic, and keep it interesting. Answer the questions they ask, not the questions you wish they'd ask.

Would you like a mint?
Try to stand at least an arm's length away. People who stand far too close when speaking are really bad for people's comfort. You risk intruding on their personal space and having them be able to smell exactly what you ate for lunch. And if you didn't check your teeth, they can see it too.

These are just some basic courtesies to keep in mind. Using all the lessons from the three parts of this series is a good way to improve your personal interaction skills, if even just a little.

Until next time,

JW

Posted by JW on March 30, 2007 9:35 PM | Permalink


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