Saturated Market: Room for one more?

« Attention Deficit Interactive Disorder | Main | Faceless »

How to be condescending

StrategyToday's post is all about how to look down on other people and let them know you're doing it.

Treat opinions different than your own as stupid

It's a well known fact that you are right. How could you not be? Everybody of your intellectual calibre (the few, the proud) agrees with you and anybody else is an idiot. You're a Democrat, they're a Republican?* They're an idiot. You're a Creationist, they're a Darwinist?* They're an idiot. You prefer to download movies and music, they prefer to pay for them?* They're an idiot. You don't agree with this post?* I'm an idiot. How they could arrive at such a ridiculous line of thought is absolutely unthinkable; clearly they are dumb.

* - Feel free to reverse these to fit your position. This paragraph will be far more agreeable to you once you adjust it to fit your needs.

Let them know there's your way, and there's the wrong way

Every task has only one way to be accomplished, and you figured it out. Any other method is inefficient or glossed over. Make sure to show everyone the RIGHT way of doing things, and don't forget to tell them as much. It's the only way they'll learn.

Take any advice you agree with as absolute obvious fact

You don't need to check references or think critically about things you hear that you agree with. Since you're clearly right, so are they. It's just common sense. How some people could not accept this to be true is simply an example of their lack of intelligence.

Ignore any counterpoints

Oh, those simple-minded cretins might try to say they have "reasons" for their way of thinking, but that is ludicrous. Their opinions are simply propoganda that's been drilled into them by the government/the drug culture/pop music/aliens/corporations/activists/Steve Carell/insert secret evil organizations here.

Remember to rub it in their faces

As a last little reminder, always make sure you make it perfectly clear to those you're trying to enlighten that they are WRONG and STUPID and you are RIGHT and SMART. If you simply remember these steps and follow these guidelines, you'll be well on your way to being a pompous, self-righteous, condescending creep.

Until next time,

JW

Posted by JW on August 25, 2007 7:30 PM | Permalink


About

This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on August 25, 2007 7:30 PM.

The previous post in this blog was Attention Deficit Interactive Disorder.

The next post in this blog is Faceless.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

Hosting provided by Pair - Powered by Movable Type 3.35